Yesterday I had an epiphany! After 3 years I realise who I want to meet: I want to meet a submissive.
(as opposed to a bottom...)This part could easily make me seem like an arsehole. I'm not; I just want to give people a clue about what I'm looking for....
What I think of as submissive comes not from a point of preaching Domly ignorance, but by the way that I have submitted to others in the past:
If I was to submit to you
(1) I would ensure that you were an intelligent, respectful and emotionally capable human being.
(2) Then I would state my hard limits:
"...that I will do nothing that will cause me lasting physical damage or harm; disfigure me or endanger my long term physical or mental health."
(3) Beyond that, I am yours...
I will not give you a list of demands: I will expect nothing of you. I will communicate with you to improve the experience for our mutual benefit. I would suffer and endure whatever you wished, because that is your will and the physical manifestation of my submission. I would be at least as interested in your pleasure as I am in my own and would always aim to blow your mind (because that's exactly how I operate as a Dom)!
BDSM is a 'seduction' (people seem to miss that!): The thrill of submitting is being under someone else's control - which means you have to give up at least part of yours. It's meant to be fun: I would aim to impress and surrender, not fortify and control.
In paraphrase; I already get fantastic levels of play from my play partners but what I'm looking for someone who is more experienced and comfortable with their submission and is adventurous with it...
PS I know I've had one before and that's why I want one again! I'm a Dom, I can be greedy!
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